Area transplants unable to find work due to lack of Duck Dynasty knowledge

A recent study has shown that transplants to the area show very little chance of gaining meaningful employment unless they display a fundamental knowledge of Duck Dynasty.

The study, which was conducted by a panel of experts, reveals that many of the questions job seekers are asked during the typical interview process have more to do with the A&E reality series than the actual position they are applying for.

While this is generally good news for die-hard fans of the show, it puts an increased burden on those unfamiliar with it. And with so few jobs available, those who are most committed to hard work are often put aside in favor of less qualified candidates.

Dr. Wayne explains the phenomenon.

To explain the situation, we asked Dr. Wayne Jetski, a licensed therapist, who specializes in pre-employment process psychology.

"When it comes to Clatsop County, job qualifications are simply not expected," Jetski explained. "Remember, we are dealing with a demographic that puts ranch sauce on nearly everything. While you would expect most employers to be concerned with a job applicant's prior experience and capabilities, this just isn't the case. In this area, management positions are typically given to friends and relatives of the business owner. These are people who have virtually no skin in the game. They don't know what it takes to run a business. In many cases, they don't even know what the business even does, and are therefore perfectly happy to mill around and talk about Duck Dynasty all day. Even in the interview process. It's quite disturbing."