Cheeseburger man sighting at Seaside hotel leaves many residents on edge

Cheeseburger Man: Photo courtesy of Bob "The Slob" Dublin.

A recent sighting of a man who witnesses describe as being "half man, half cheeseburger" has left many Seaside residents on edge.

Standing approximately seven feet tall and wearing a long, tattered trench coat, the cheeseburger man was last spotted pointing ominously at onlookers outside the Best Western Ocean View Resort on North Promenade.

Although dozens of sightings have been reported throughout the beachfront area of the coastal town, only one resident was brazen enough to photograph the unidentified burger.

"I got right in there and snapped a sweet-ass picture of that fucker while I had the chance," remarked Bob Dublin, an out-of-work dreamcatcher from Manzanita.

The photograph was later sent to Astoria for authenticity verification purposes.

"The photograph I inspected was one hundred percent legitimate," claimed Clatsop County's on-call forensic analyst Rhubarbio Swift. "There is absolutely no way this picture could have been altered in Microsoft Paint. The cheeseburger man is undoubtedly real. And, if I might add, he looks like he'd be absolutely delicious if he was dipped in ranch."

Swift was last in the news when his brief stint in the race car circuit came to an abrupt end after a failed attempt at driving in a perfect triangle pattern at over 100 miles-per-hour.

If you have any information regarding the cheeseburger man, please come forward now.