Area woman stumbles across Knappa man

Carla Dankin confronting the Knappa man: Photo courtesy of the World Wide Web.

When Carla Dankin went for a casual walk into the woods east of Astoria, she had no idea what she'd find. She had seen the woods before, but only through Google image searches.

Before long, Carla found herself in an entirely new world. The sounds of passing cars had long since diminished. The woods grew thicker. The air stood still. Everything around her began to change. And before long, she began to miss the safety of Downtown Astoria.

"That's when I saw him," Dankin remarked. "He was crouched down by a creek, trying to catch a fish with nothing but his teeth. He was unlike anything I had ever seen before."

Dankin went on to explain how, after asking the man for directions, he proceeded to growl at her, which he followed by leering awkwardly for a period of several minutes.

"I could tell right away that I had nothing in common with this man," Dankin continued. "Nothing at all. There was something so primal about him. I tried to make small talk with him, just to make the situation more comfortable, but he didn't seem to understand anything I talked about. He didn't even know that Big Ang from Mob Wives had died. How could you not know that? It was all over my Facebook wall for an entire week."

Eventually flipping the man off and retreating to the familiar confines of the city, Dankin promised herself that she would never return to the horrors beyond the 38th pier.